Sunday, March 21, 2010

Under doctor's orders

The recent hiatus in posting has been caused by a little knee surgery. Being a humble physician, I am not quite sure what the orthopaedic surgeon did, but it took twice as long as the guys who had knee replacements. However I was really quite pleased to escape the catheterisation that one fellow patient required afterwards. Indeed, I quickly sussed that the passport to an early discharge was whether you managed to get up to the toilet during the previous night. So I disconnected myself from the ever so pleasant, self administered morphine machine and attended to some partially ambulatory nocturnal ablutions. I hobbled back, past a large white board, which had patient's name in one column and EDD in another. EDD? Estimated date of death? Felt like it. Estimated date of delivery? I hope not, not at my age anyway. Estimated date of departure? Maybe, but it was still several days too far away.

On the ward round, the next morning, the consultant surgeon was explaining to his entourage, the rationale for performing a complex series of procedures (normally performed on footballers in their mid 20's) on someone who has no recall of ever being 25! "This man," he said quite clearly, "is an uber athlete". Wow, such insight!

His sidekick then asked "On a scale of 1 to 10 how much pain are you in?"

"Oh, less than 1" I whispered, through gritted teeth.


So now I am immobilised for 6 weeks, with strict instructions not to weight bear. Bloody hell, footballers in their mid twenties must be tougher than they look. Weight bear? My leg is somewhat nippy and the instructions to not weight bear seem to be ever so slightly superfluous.

I am under doctor's orders.


  1. Graeme Busby22/03/2010, 08:54

    I hope your your post-op medication includes a dram !

    Hope your back on the water soon.


  2. Good job sitting in a kayak isn't weight bearing....

  3. Hi Graeme thank you, I have a very nice 16 year old Bowmore on the go at the moment!

    John, it certainly does not!! I sincerely hope your own knees never need the type of surgery I have just had!


  4. good to hear you are back around again!!!!
    heal well!
    good winds

  5. Sounds as though you've micro fracturing to repair damaged cartilage. My other half had the same op late Jan. Beware! At her 6 week review they said - keep weight off for another 6 weeks! Would also recommend use of continuous passive motion machine to speed the healing process.

    Cheers, Martin

  6. Let's hope that sorts it! Six weeks? You should still see some of the 'summer'. Just in time for the midges in fact.

  7. corgimas thank you.

    Martin I have had a tibial tubercle osteotomy, lateral retinaculum release and medial patellofemoral reconstruction, maybe a few other things, not too sure buts its nippy.

    Simon, I think that it will be much longer than six weeks before Iam back in action, that's just when serious rehab starts!